Points from an adoptee

I have been reading several blogs from adult adoptees from Vietnam for the past several days. As I read some of their comments, viewpoints, reflections and emotions on adoption, I could see a little bit of myself in each and every one of them. Through the years, I have been torn about my own feelings as an adoptee. I heard that writing your feelings down can be cathartic for one's soul but I have never been able to articulate how I really feel. Perhaps someday.

I did read on someone's entry on adoptionblogs.com today and her words rang loudly with me. I have attached a quote from the post below. This is how I would ideally like Ava to feel about her own adoptee experiences. I have been worrying so long about how we will bring up the adoption subject with her. We WILL bring it up some day...this much I owe her. But at the same time, I don't want this to become an obsession. I don't want it to take over our lives. I want her to grow up with "normal" childhood memories and fondness. I don't remember when and how I discussed adoption with my parents. I just knew from a very early age.

"My parents did not raise me as being adopted (meaning I was raised just as other children) nor was it the central theme of my childhood. I was raised as any other child that was loved it just happened to be through adoption. I believe with adoptees the main thing should be providing them a loving family and allowing the too become the person they are. My childhood is not fulfilled with thoughts of adoption but normal childhood memories. When I think and remember things from my childhood it is about family times we had together, the holidays we celebrated, and the bonds that grew over the years. When I talk about my life I talk about my children, husband, family, pets, friends, childhood…my life which is not all about adoption."

I have also added new links on my blog sidebar (on the right). The links are to other Vietnam adoptee's websites. They are informative for both adoptive parents and adoptees on subject matters such as: struggling with issues, looking to make sense of their own adoption, finding others with the same feelings to relate to, etc. I think it keeps my thoughts in "perspective", especially when I don't know how to really feel during certain times in my life.